He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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