Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
