My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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