My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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