theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My pussy is not your playground.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
