Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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