God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu