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• (619): View more from California

  pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story

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• (206): View more from Washington

  i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  I will probably be peed on at some point today.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it

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• (813): View more from Florida

  You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.

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