How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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