Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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