I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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