his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
