All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
