There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
