ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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