At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
