ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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