ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
