Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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