So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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