im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize