dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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