I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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