Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
