If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
