Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
