Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
