The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize