I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Congratulations! We have a period
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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