why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
