after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
