I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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