she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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