you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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