I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
