You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
FUCK WHALES
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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