Where is the hickey?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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