dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
