I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
