He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
