I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
