Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
