I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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