you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Alive.
So much puke
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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