we have pet lesbian snakes
This girl is more easily done than said...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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