That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize