Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
