Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
sex in a hospital.. check
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
