I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize