I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Come on in and take your pants off
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