Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.