The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
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im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
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I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.