those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs