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I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Randomize
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