Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?