I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
