Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
