Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
