Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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