The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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