i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
