People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
