4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
