Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize