the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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